
When life gives you lemons,, what do you do?
A fresh start, and a random corner of the internet. Let’s see where this goes.
Services offered
the type of services everyone can use, but will you?

Emoji Translator
🦜🐼 Ever wondered what your message would look like as a string of emojis? Let Panda the Emoji Expert do it for you! Whether you’re texting your bestie or writing a cryptic social media post, Panda will transform your words into a perfectly chaotic emoji masterpiece. No more wordy explanations—just pure emoji magic. 😎🐼

Plant Naming Service
🌱🐼 Got a new plant but can’t decide what to name it? Panda’s got you covered. With a gentle paw and a flair for creativity, Panda will help you find the perfect name for your leafy friend. Whether it’s "Sir Sprouts-a-Lot" or "Leafy McLeafface," your plant will have a name as unique as its vibes. 🐾🌿

Custom Breakup Texts
💔🐼 Need to break up, but don’t know how to do it without sounding like a jerk? Let Panda write a heart-to-heart (or no-heart) breakup text for you. Whether you're looking for something heartfelt or hilariously awkward, Panda will craft the perfect exit message with zero judgment. We promise, no panda feelings will be hurt! 💌🐾

Sock Pairing Specialist
🧦🐼 Tired of mismatched socks? Panda will take your lonely, separated socks and return them to you in perfect harmony. It's like a matchmaking service—only for socks. No sock left behind, and every pair will feel the love! 🐾💙

404 Page Designer
🚫🐼 Ever seen a "404 Error" and thought, "That’s the least creative thing I’ve ever seen"? Well, Panda’s here to change that! Let this mischievous little panda create a 404 page that’s both hilarious and uniquely you. Whether it’s a jungle-themed adventure, a panda searching for your missing page, or an animated bamboo maze, Panda will make sure your error page is anything but boring. It’s a “lost page” with personality! 🐾🌍


About me
Hey, I’m Ronald. I’ve been working in IT long enough to know that the real solution is usually just “unplug it and plug it back in.” But don’t tell anyone—I’ve got a reputation to maintain. When I'm not deep in the code trenches or breaking a sweat over a server meltdown, you’ll find me inventing random ways to make tech even more unnecessarily complicated.
I’m the guy who writes scripts to automate my lunch order and can tell you exactly why your printer is mad at you (spoiler: it’s always the paper tray). My superpower is finding bugs in systems so deep, they’ve become their own ecosystem. And don’t get me started on my obsession with building Rube Goldberg machines out of network cables and office supplies.
In my downtime, I like to pretend I’m working on a new app, but really I’m just optimizing my browser bookmarks. My favorite hobby? Listening to the sound of a fan humming and pretending I’m debugging the entire internet.
Need someone to fix your system, or just want to chat about the existential nature of pop-up ads? I’m your tech guru, but don't ask me to fix your printer. It’s personal.
Recent work

“Wi-Fi or Not Wi-Fi” – A Home Network Revamp
- Redesigned and optimized a home network setup that was, let’s just say, “technologically challenged.” By upgrading routers and eliminating unnecessary cables, I created the most robust home Wi-Fi system known to mankind… and finally got rid of the mysterious “Guest Network” that no one ever used.

Cloud Migration for a Startup
Successfully migrated a startup’s entire infrastructure to the cloud while pretending to understand all the benefits of “scalability.” They’re happy, I’m happy, and I definitely didn’t Google "What is cloud computing?" midway through the project.

Creative 404 Page Design for a Boutique Bakery
Redesigned the 404 error page for a local bakery’s website. Instead of the usual “Oops! Page not found,” I created a fun interactive experience where users can “decorate” their own digital cookie using virtual icing, sprinkles, and toppings. The page then cheekily tells them, “Looks like the page you were looking for is a bit crumby... but hey, your cookie looks delicious!” It was a hit! Not only did it reduce bounce rates, but it also made people want to visit the bakery in person for their next sugar fix. 🍪🎨

Custom Breakup Texts
Crafted a series of personalized breakup texts for a client who was navigating a rather awkward relationship ending. Each message was tailored to strike the perfect balance between tact, humour, and total transparency. From “It’s not you, it’s me… and the fact that I’m allergic to commitment” to “I think we’ve grown apart like two mismatched socks in the laundry,” these breakup texts not only spared feelings but also left a lasting impression. Because sometimes, a well-worded exit is just as important as the relationship itself. 💔📱
What my clients are saying about my work
I'd love to discuss your next idea
I’m all about turning the ordinary into the extraordinary—whether it’s fixing tech issues, creating quirky content, or brainstorming the next big thing.
Here’s an idea I’m currently obsessing over, and I think it could be perfect for you:
The Interactive Tech Support Hotline with a Twist What if troubleshooting didn’t have to be boring? What if instead of the usual “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” I brought some humor, absurdity, and creativity into the mix?
Imagine booking a session with me where I help you solve tech problems while also cracking jokes, sharing absurd advice, and maybe even throwing in a random story or two. Picture this: fixing your Wi-Fi, but with a side of performance art.
Here’s what it could look like:
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Live or recorded sessions where we troubleshoot your issue in the most fun, creative way possible.
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Ridiculous (but helpful) tips and tricks to get you to the real solution.
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A tech support experience that actually makes you want to call for help.
If this idea sounds like something you’d love to explore (or if you’ve got your own wild idea), let’s chat! No idea is too strange, and no problem is too small. I’m here to make the process as fun as it is functional.
Biography

Frequently Asked Questions
1. What kind of services do you offer?
I offer a mix of tech support, creative content, and all things quirky. Whether it’s solving your Wi-Fi issues with flair, designing a 404 error page that makes you laugh, or writing breakup texts that don’t suck—I’ve got you covered.
2. Can you actually fix my printer?
I mean, probably. But no promises. Printers are temperamental creatures. If you’re lucky, I’ll fix it, and we’ll all walk away with a victory. If not, I’ll at least give you a solid “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” moment.
3. What makes your tech support different?
It’s not just tech support; it’s an experience. I’ll help you solve your tech issues while cracking jokes, telling weird stories, and generally making the process way more fun than it has any right to be. If you want a basic fix, you might be better off Googling it. If you want a laugh along the way, I’m your person.
4. Can you help me with my website?
Absolutely! Whether it’s creating a custom 404 page, improving your content, or making your site actually fun, I’ll work with you to make it unique and memorable. The goal is always a website that stands out—not just another cookie-cutter page.
6. How do I get started?
It’s simple! Just reach out through the contact form or book a session, and we’ll get started. No idea is too strange, and no tech problem is too big or small. Let’s make it happen!